By Sri Skanda's Warrior of Light
December 18, 2002
For the longest time, I have always loved and prayed to Lord Murugan. As my ishtadeva, He has blessed me in countless number of times through real-life experiences, dreams, etc.
 Read about these experiences on the satsang page.
|
Murugan also introduced me to a very loving saint, Sri Narayani Amma. Thus, commenced an inner conflict with God. The problem was that my heart accepted Bhagavan Sri Skanda as Guru and God, even though my mother continually states that Narayani Amma is my Guru. In my heart, I feel that Sri Narayani Amma is my Lord Murugan in physical form. The same love I experience when I dream of Lord Murugan, I, too, get from being around Sri Narayani Amma. In fact, Murugan had already come in my dream and gave me guru upadesam. He also gave me specific instructions on reciting mantras, Thevaaram, and Thiruppugal hymns. So, you can understand how confusing and disturbing it was for me to hear my mother and relatives keep insisting that I pray only to Amma as my Guru.
To resolve this inner conflict, I asked Amma, during Her 2001 visit to Canada, "Forgive me [Amma] but I can only accept Murugan as my guru. Am I doing something wrong? I love you but I also love him. I see Him in you."
Amma lovingly replied, "Murugan's Vel is who? It is Amma! One of Amma's name is Sarva Swaroopini, meaning She is all forms. So what you are doing is not wrong. Don't worry, Amma accepts your prayers." Amma then asked me during our interview to sing Thiruppugal songs. She also sang along with me!
|
Thiruppugal songs are a favorite of Lord Murugan!
|
In spite of this, for some reason my mother and relatives insist that I change my guru and their justification is that, "Murugan will not mind." Well, my answer came last night to finally give my heart and mind solace.
In my dream I dreamt
Sri Narayani Amma. She was seated in my dormatory room where my study desk
normally rests. During my studying at medical school, I keep a personally
autographed picture of Narayani Amma on my study desk and pray to it saying,
"Appanae, Muruga!" In the dream, however, my desk was absent and in its place,
Amma was seated on the floor on a white sheet cloth. I was seated in front of
Her along with a young adult (girl) on my left. I was wearing a white shirt and
a veshti with a red-border. The young lady was wearing a dark blue sari.
Amma raised Her hand in blessing to both of us and smiled. She then asked, "Pranavan, how are you? How are your studies?" I replied, "They [studies] are good Amma. Thanks to your Grace."
Amma then asked, "How is your japam? Are you still reciting the mantra [given by Lord Murugan]?"
I replied, "Yes Amma. Do you want me to switch to saying: 'Om Namo Narayani'?"
Amma said, "No. You continue with that mantra. Don't change."
I asked again, "Are you sure? Narayani Amma's mantra is shorter than Murugan's. Are you sure you don't want me to change?"
Amma said, "No, you continue praying using that mantra. Don't change."
Amma then turned to face the young lady beside me and spoke, "[Young lady's name - I don't recall her name], you repeat Amma's mantra."
Amma then gave this young lady (?devotee ?my future wife) guru upadesam.
"Om Namo Narayani," Amma chanted and asked the young lady to repeat. The lady repeated after Amma, while clasping her hands together in the anjali mudra.
I then awoke from my sleep. Thank you my dear loving Amma for blessing your two children last night. You have confirmed what my heart has always felt for a long time. You and Murugan are one. You are in all and all are you! My loving Muruga! Thank you for making sure that I stay on my chosen path!
Om Sakthi!
See also:
